


Are we still breathing?

by okaybellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, Character Death, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, One Shot, Speculation, Unhappy Ending, Why Did I Write This?, i'm in pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaybellarke/pseuds/okaybellarke
Summary: 713 speculation based on the real(?) spoiler that clarke shoots bellamy <3
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Are we still breathing?

_ Cadogan, get to Cadogan.  _ Clarke gripped the gun until her knuckles were white.  _ Kill him. Kill Cadogan.  _ The eclipse was in full and Clarke had no control over the voice she had pushed back in her mind, time and time again. She reached the room and saw him.  _ Now’s your chance. Do it!  _ She brought up her gun and pointed it right at his heart, nothing was stopping her. Her head was pounding, her thoughts fuzzy except for one, she had to kill him. He took her best friend, it was all a game to him, he  _ deserved _ to die. The voice in her head began to turn.  _ Clarke, don't do this.  _ She wrapped her finger around the trigger, she could end it right here.  _ Clarke, please.  _ She closed her eyes and pulled the trigger, but realized all too late that the voice in her head telling her to stop, to not kill him, was real. The voice in her head was Bellamy, and now he was on the floor, blood beginning to stain his white robes. 

“Bellamy?!” 

Clarke instantly became aware of everything that was happening. 

“No, no, no….” 

Clarke dropped her gun and ran over to Bellamy.  _ This can’t be real. No.  _ Clarke kneeled at his side. He looked up at her with pained eyes. “Clarke…” As soon as he spoke he winced and looked away from her. Clarke's hands reached for the wound, attempting to stop the bleeding, but it didn't do much. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry... Bellamy, you’re going to be okay.” She smiled weakly, neither of them seemed to believe that, and Clarke didn't know if she said it to reassure him or herself. She looked around and saw Cadogan standing there in disbelief. “Go get bandages, anything,  _ something _ to cover the wound!” She cried. But he only stood there, his expression unchanged. She tried to say something else, to convince him, but her hands, who were still covering the wound, were met with Bellamy’s own. 

“Clarke. Hey. It’s okay.” His voice was rough. His skin was beginning to pale, his breathing was shallow. He was running out of time. She shook her head, words unable to form over her cries. “No, it’s not okay! I just shot you. How is any of this  _ okay _ ?” She looked up, fighting the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. “You can’t die _ ,  _ Bellamy. I’ve lost you too many times to count. Please I-” 

“ _ Clarke,  _ look at me.” Her eyes met his. His breath hitched. “This isn’t... your fault. I stepped in front, I knew the red sun toxins effects and... I did it anyway.” 

“Why did you do it?” She said in a whisper. 

“He saved my life. It was only right that I do the same for him. Besides…” He winced again, the pain worsening. “You guys hate me now, I’m sure wanting me dead isn't far from it.” 

“ _Stop_.” Clarke’s expression is serious. “Bellamy, don’t say that. I could never hate you.”

“Promise?” He said it as if he was a young boy. Small and desperate. 

“I promise.” She gave him a sad smile. He had lost so much blood. 

She looked over to his wound. Clarke’s hands had no use there anymore, she wasn't sure if they ever did. She brought his head onto her lap slowly and began to stroke his hair with one hand, and reached for his hand with the other. 

“You know I did it... to protect you, you and O.” It hurt to watch him speak, she couldn't begin to understand the pain he was feeling. It was becoming all too familiar. 

She nodded. From day one she knew he did everything to protect his sister, how she got in the mix? Still a mystery, but she knew. “Tell Octavia... I love her.” He said through raspy breaths. 

“I will.” She didn't have the heart to deny him. “I’ll tell her.” This was it, through all the fights and hugs and betrayals, they ran out of time. It seemed like they were invincible from death, but this was the reality. Bellamy dying in Clarke's arms. Nothing could be done now. There’s so much between them that has been left unsaid. 

“Clarke…” His eyes fluttered open. Her hand reached for his cheek. 

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to speak.” She swallowed thickly and brought him closer to her. 

“In peace, may you leave the shore…” 

_ I need you.  _

“In love, may you find the next…” 

_ You’ve got such a big heart, Bellamy. _

“Safe passage on your travels,..” 

_ I can’t lose you, too.  _

“...until our final journey to the ground…” 

_ No, I’m not leaving you.  _

“May we meet again.” 

He took one last breath, and his body went limp. He was dead. Her best friend, the person she trusted the most, and the person she loved more than anything, was lying there, lifeless, in her arms. Her sobs intensified and she brought her lips to his forehead.

“I love you.” She whispered into his hair. Clarke realized, she never got to say it. But now it was too late, she’ll never get the chance. And maybe, that was the way it was supposed to be, maybe in another life, without killer AI’s, endless wars, and body snatchers, they could've been happy together. But this life, the one with the killer AI’s, endless wars, and body snatchers, she’ll have to figure out how to keep going, to still have  _ hope _ , after losing so much. 

_ You still have hope?  _

_ Are we still breathing?  _

End.


End file.
